What Five Years of Marriage Taught Me

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I've been with my spouse for what seems to be barely two years but it has been five. 

We have celebrated our love in Wichita, Ks and in Abidjan in Côte d'Ivoire (Ivory Coast). We have welcomed a new addition to our family and if you check our social media pages, it seems like the perfect love story.

IT IS NOT! 

We have a mutual understanding that we're only going to post positive things about our relationship. It is not because we're trying to be people we're not, or portray a false sense of happiness. It is a decision and constant intentional actions to protect our image, our relationship and show positive content on the internet because let's be honest, there is enough crap on there.

And just like that decision, I chose to love my spouse no matter what. That's easier said than done.

I remember early in our relationship, when we were still dating, there was a day we were arguing and I threatened to break up with her. The hype of the emotions and the argument went from 100 to 0 real quick. She looked me dead in the eyes and said with a poised voice: if you're serious about a long term relationship, you can't threaten to leave when it gets tough. 

It was a bad habit I had in my past relationships without knowing it was one. I know who I am. I know what I bring to the table and I know what I want. Subconsciously, if I don't feel valued or appreciated, my default setting was always to bounce… until that moment.

Five Years of Marriage taught me love is a daily action. I take it day by day, with the good, the bad, the ugly in health and in sickness. I give my 210% every day. And when I can't, she is there to remind me why we started this journey together. 

Let's see how far we go!